Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Routine Versus 'Lax' Schedules for Family

Hello there Cubicle Buddies!

Can you believe that Christmas is almost a month away!  I've done nothing to prepare yet!  Nor have I begun to panic...which is probably more worrisome. 
However we had Martin's big birthday party on the weekend and it went well and I was very happy with it.  But now I find myself exhausted and have taken a few days to rest up before the Christmas Craze sets in. 

So, if you've read my blogs (as sporadic as they are) you know that I like to work towards making myself a better person.  It's a struggle as I tend to....give up.  I hate to say it like that...but it seems to be my constant.  This is not a negative of myself...just a reality.

So my newest quest will be finding routine.  We have some routine for the family, the kids have regular baths, meals around the same time, regular bedtime for the kids.  But it's the in between I want to figure out. 

But I can't expect perfection right away.  So will work a bit at a time.  So today there are two areas to work.  I want to have a regular exercise routine and ....  hmmmm...  What to tackle first.  Ok.  Have a set grocery shopping time.  Oh.  That sounds scary.  I can do this!

So, exercise.  I want to attend classes at the gym on Monday mornings and Thursday mornings.  But I think I should go at least 2 more times.  When to fit that in is the question.  Maybe I could lane swim once during the weekend.  And then regular circuit on the equipment maybe on Friday mornings.  Hmm...  that could work.  I will try this starting now for 2 weeks.

Now the regular grocery time.  Well, I could go after the gym on Monday mornings. 

Ok.  Wish me luck!

Monday, 30 April 2012

Week 3

I stopped counting how many days it's been...but I believe this is the start of Week 3 of my 'healthy living'.  Once the treats were allowed back in it was tough.  It is still tough.  I know I've made some better choices but still need to get a big grip on the snacking when I'm not hungry and the type of snacks I pick.  That being said, I didn't do as badly as I thought I did this past week.  I am now only going to weigh myself once a week.  Ack!  So this morning was my weigh in.  I was up a little but again...I thought I'd be back at the beginning.  So I needed to find some incentive this morning to help me get back on track.  So I came up with 2 things.  I pulled out a pair of jeans that didn't fit me 3 weeks ago when I started.  I was able to do them up AND still I'm wearing them today.  So I'm technically down a size.  Do they look super amazing on me?  Absolutely no.  But a long t-shirt covers what isn't attractive and I will work on making them fit me better.  Right?
The 2nd thing to help me get on track is to start running again.  I've been talking with a friend about it and we even thought Monday's might be good.  So although I don't want to.  I'd rather sit in front of the TV and eat....  I am going to run with my friend tonight.  Ack!  I'm a bit nervous to run...but there is also the added nervous because I'm pretty sure she is going to run laps around me.  But I am swallowing my pride and going to try it anyway.  Plus we are going to a track.  So if I'm slowing her down she can run ahead without feeling badly. 
So things are going alright.  Could be better...but I was doing a helluva lot worse 3 weeks ago.  So baby steps for me!

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Day 4 has Great News!!

I'VE MET MY GOAL!!!!  I am down 5.2 pounds!
I am obviously very happy.  I have done alright on following my Weight Watchers
points and drinking more water...not sure I'm getting in my full water intake yet, but
doing better then before.  Still want to snack constantly.... sigh....

Now I need a new goal.  I need to ponder this.  What is realistic because I know what I am experiencing now will slow down very quickly.  Ok.  I think my new goal...will be another 5 pounds by the end of May.  That would be a total of 10 pds.  And if I knock this one out of the park too...well then good for me! 

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Day 3

Day 3.  Hard to believe it's only been 3 days.  I feel like I haven't had a sweet or salty treat in months.  And I really really want one.  But my detox must last the week and it is easier to say 'no' then to have to decide.  Had this chat with a friend yesterday and it's so true.  Soon enough I will be able to have a little treat but this has been really good to see how often I snack or 'treat' myself when I really am not hungry. they are tough to break.  Why can't I have a habit that is good for me? 

I again, stepped on the scale this morning in the hopes of motivating myself to keep going...and YEAH!!!  Motivation I got!  After only 2 days I am down 3.6 pounds.  I know that the first few days will be drastic results and don't think this will keep up but YeeHAW for me!  I think of it in pounds of butter.  In two days I took 3 and a half blocks of butter off me!  Was it my butt?  My stomach?  My thighs?  Who cares!!!  It's gone! 

Of course after 2 days I think I can take on the world (and started a book last night about decluttering) and today find myself throwing things in boxes to sell or give away that I have never been able to part with before.  My DH and I agree I am perhaps delusional from lack of sweets...but I have 2 boxes now ready to get out of my house!  Again....let's hear a YeeHAW for me! 

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Day 2

Hey Cubicle Buddies
Well, I survived Day 1. 
I learned that I am addicted to snacking...which I kind of already knew.
But I also learned that I 'thought' my hardest time would be in the afternoon, but
apparently it is not.  The hardest time of day was just after all the kids were down for the night!
I was certainly not hungry but the need to go get something to eat was crazy!
Worst part was I was making Banana Chocolate Chip muffins as a gift for someone during this time
frame.  But I did not break.  I did not sample one teeny tiny chocolate chip.  I picked some up several
times talking myself into it.  But I always stopped myself.  It was a wonderful feeling and an awful feeling.
So, I made some tea and knew that if that didn't work I could chew gum.

I added up my WW points and found out I didn't even use my allotment for the day! 

I am back at it today and although I know I should weigh myself every day...I do want to report that I was down 1 pound this morning!  I will take that to help me get through today ...because the need to snack today is bad!  I can almost SEE the little devil on my shoulder telling me what to get in to!  Get Lost Little Devil!!!  You will not have power over me!  :)  Stupid Little Devil. 

Alright!  I will report in again soon!

Monday, 16 April 2012

It is time...

Hi there Cubicle Buddies!
I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

I have decided that it is time.  It is time to finally take back Myself.
I have given a majority of my time and energy to my kids or family as a whole.
And this Momma needs to start taking care of herself again.
So I started today on eating well.  I know from past experience that I need to go
'cold turkey' for a week (or 2) from all treats and snacks. 
I used to go to Weight Watchers and it really helped me out.  However, finding time
to attend a meeting right now is near impossible...nor easy to do with Martin running around.
So, I will do the Weight Watchers way...but instead of a meeting...I will use this blog to
keep me on track.  I hope hope hope hope it works.  Scratch that wishy washy stuff.  I KNOW I can do this!
I am setting a goal to achieve and that is 5 pounds by the end of May (specifically my Anniversary date).  This was inspired by a friend of mine and I'm jumping on board with that goal.  :)
So I hope to update you periodically on how I am doing or to vent my frustration at how I am doing.
Feel free to share any success stories or helpful hints!

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Hello. My name is Tharen and I'm a Procrastinating Perfectionist

Hello Cubicle Buddies!

Hope you are well and enjoying this on again/off again winter we seem to be having.

Things continue to be busy around here but I'm adjusting life to allow for a little more family time and free time.  Cutting back on activities for the Spring season is a big one and of course no more kids birthdays (therefore birthday parties to plan) till December again helps a lot. 

So, today's subject of choice is my self diagnosis of 'Procrastinating Perfectionist'.

Now, those who know me will see the word 'Perfectionist' and laugh at my delusion....but hear me out...

A while back my sister told me a theory and it 'changed' me!  Sometimes just putting a name to what you do can help you figure it out.  Or at least accept it. 
I've been a procrastinator for years and years....but didn't know why.  I didn't want to believe I was lazy because I didn't feel that I was.  I am full of good intentions but never seem to follow through but didn't want to believe I was a 'quitter' either.  So what was my problem?!

Then my sister tells me this idea that some perfectionists have to have everything in order perfectly (I'm not quoting her but this is the general info) and there are other perfectionists that feel if you can't do something perfectly..then you don't do it at all..or procrastinate.  I tell you...the angels were singing, the lights were going off left and right, some imaginary person was V8 bonking my forehead.  I had my big 'Aha' moment.  It made so much sense! 

So my list for today is a few examples of what I do to support this self diagnosis:

1.  My basement.  I am not a hoarder.  However our basement is...well a little (read a lot) full of stuff.  All of the kids clothes from the day they were born.  All the toys they ever received.  Our dishes from when both my husband and I were in school and lived on our own (so that's two sets of dishes).  Christmas decorations, off season clothes, broken toys, ripped clothes to be mended...that don't fit any of the kids any more, etc.  I do not like how my basement is and I keep thinking 'If I could just have a day to get in there, I could clean it all up and sort through it all and it would be done'.  But who has a day to do this...ever?  So, I leave it.  And it gets worse.  And I just keep waiting to find this magic day that will make it all better.  BUT with my self diagnosis I realize this is unrealistic for many reasons (Like I seriously think I can fix it in one day?) and that I need to work at it a little bit at a time because that chunk of time will never happen.  See?  Perfect would be finding a chunk of time to do it all at once and get it done.  But realistic is a little bit at a time.

2.  Exercise.  I go on exercise kicks.  I'm great for a week.  I go down on the treadmill or put on a step video every night for the designated time and I feel fantastic!  It's awesome!  Then it's a night where we are out late, or away over a weekend and I didn't do my 'every night' routine.  So I mentally give up.  I failed.  I wasn't perfect at it and so I quit.  Dumb right?  I'm not actually thinking this in my head of course it just sort of happens.  You talk yourself out of it and don't get back into it.  But when I self diagnose it's because I wasn't perfect at it.  But really, so what that I missed the weekend. There is no reason not to start right back up or just do the nights I can.  Some exercise is better then none.  Oh silly Tharen

3.  Daily routine.  I want a daily routine.  It would help me.  It would help the kids.  I can't tell you how many 'daily routines' I have written up over the years.  I have tried super detailed routines.  I have tried very vague routines.  I have tried in the middle of these.  I've tried them in Excel format.  I've tried them in Word format.  I've written them up on my own.  Yet I can't seem to follow them.  Why?  You guessed it.  Because I can't do it perfectly.  My routine that says 'naptime for Martin' at 11:30am every day gets thrown off the first day we have a play date and he goes down an hour later...or worse he chooses not to nap for my designated 2 hour nap so the stuff to be done when he is napping is all thrown off.  Argh!  What's the point.  So I give up.  Because it didn't go perfectly.

4.  My blog.  I like coming on here and writing.  It's a bit of an outlet and documents some of what I'm likely to forget.  Sometimes when I'm rocking my little boy to sleep for his nap and my mind is wandering I will think of something and want to blog it.  But then I think how long that will take and I won't be able to word it right and then I just...don't.   Because it's not perfect.  How silly.  I'm mostly writing this blog for myself but other people can read it if they want.  So if I'm writing it for myself...then what do I care if I word it wrong.  Silly Tharen.  Then I carry guilt that I haven't written on here since November! 

So these are only a few of the MANY examples of my PP.  Oh, OK, one more.  I want soooo badly to get rid of our cat.  We decided back in November that yes, we would set up an ad on Kijiji to see if anyone wants him.  He's a great cat.  Super friendly.  Good with kids.  But we are not cat people.  This cat needs someone who will love him and give him a lot of attention.  So, I've written up the Kijiji ad about, oh, 5 times.  But I can't seem to work it just right to explain what I want to say.  And then I think what if no one responds and I'm stuck with this cat and I've been so happy thinking we might not have him any more.  So because I can't control the perfect ending to my story...I don't post the I don't know if it ends well or not.  Silly Tharen.

So, please wish me luck on my continued journey of beating my PP. 
And who knows...maybe I'll blog again sooner if I don't think it has to be perfect!